Transformers: The Last Knight

Movie Reviews
Transformers: The Last Knight
By Hervé St-Louis
June 30, 2017 - 12:00

Studios: Paramount Pictures, Hasbro, Di Bonaventura Pictures, Huahua Media, Ian Bryce Productions, Tom DeSanto/Don Murphy Production
Writer(s): Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, Ken Nolan, Akiva Goldsman
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock, Laura Haddock, Santiago Cabrera, Isabela Moner, Jerrod Carmichael
Directed by: Michael Bay
Produced by: Michael Bay, Ian Bryce, Matthew Cohan, Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Brian Goldner, Daren Hicks, K.C. Hodenfield, J.J. Hook, Harry Humphries, Michael Kase, Don Murphy, Steven Spielberg, Mark Vahradian
Running Time: 149 minutes
Release Date: June 21, 2017
Rating: PG13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned)
Distributors: Paramount Pictures

When the Transformers goddess Quintessa hatches a plan to rebuild Cybertron by using Earth, she unleashes forces that could destroy the humanity and the Unicron, the god who dwells in the bowel the planet. With Optimus Prime now allied with Quintessa and the Decepticons, will the remaining Autobots now chased by human military be able to stop Quintessa from destroying the Earth?

The only reason I saw this film was because my 14-years-old nephew wanted me to. I gave up on the Transformers’ franchise a few movies ago and that was the correct decision. This fil will entertain 14 years-old boys and that’s about it. Michael Bay uses the same formula. A dangerous threat coming from the mythical past of the Transformers has to be retrieved before it falls into the wrong hands. Both Autobots and Deceptions fight to retrieve the magical artifact. Humans of many sides are involved in the chase too and need to be rescued by Autobots at all times.

Michael Bay has always made humans the focus of the Transformers’s films instead of the robots people cared about. A few humans were always featured in the comics and cartoons. But old fans may recall that humans always got in the way of a good story and were mostly useful to give new readers and viewers a starting point to comprehend what the Transformers were (as if it were difficult – good and bad robots transform and fight). Every time humans became the center of attention in the Transformers, the stories were bad.

This movie should have been called a bunch of annoying humans that no one cares about and their Transformers’ sidekick. The most painful part of this movie was the wholly incorporation of the Arthurian legend into the history of the Transformers and humans. Although Oxford prof. Vivian Wembley dismisses the whole Arthurian legend in one of her lectures, she has to recant later in the movie as she finds out that she is the direct descendant of Merlin, and that the round table was filled with both humans and Autobots. It degenerates from then on I wish to say no more about this stupidity. Okay, I have to mention that Stonehenge is somehow related to the Arthurian legend, Unicron, the Transformers et al. and that England is hollow and that submarines can travel beneath it and reach Stonehenge…

Some of the more stupid and ill-conceived plot elements are how the humans (I really hate them in the Transformers’s films) manage to survive going deep underground with submarines and reach Stonehenge by waterways while still surviving when they arrive at the surface of the Earth and then begin to float as the ground lifts up so that the planet can serve as food for Cybertron. The humans are so high in the air that they need gas masks. But none of them at any time suffers from the bends.

I do hope that the franchise has dredged up every remaining Transformers’s lore or mythical creature by now. Quintessa whose origin is unclear claims to be a goddess and the creator of the Transformers. I thought that Transformers were created through the All-Spark or as hatchlings. Bah, who cares? Unicron hasn’t been unveiled yet, so he’s definitely coming back for Transformers 6. This is not a movie that I wish to see though.

P.S. I forgot to mention how tiring Optimus Prime and his silly speeches is. I used to enjoy them as a kid but I just can’t listen to the vapid fluff anymore.

P.P.S. Obviously, Transformers: The Last Knight was not the right movie for me but my 14-year-old nephew really enjoyed it. That movie is great for this demographic.

Rating: 4/10