It’s not that Amazing Spider-Man #549 is bad…it’s just completely unimpressive. There are several exciting things-- a last-minute rescue, a foiled mugging, an escape from a subway train-- but Guggenheim and Larroca somehow make these adventures as provocative as an unfurnished room.

#549 follows Spidey, freshly brain-wiped from the events of “One More Day,” trying to help ex-wife turned superhero Mary Jane (now dubbed “Jackpot”) apprehend a criminal. Said goon may know the location of Menace, a yet unrevealed new villain who both heroes are after. One failed arrest attempt and a batting-cage interlude later, Spidey bumps into Jackpot again, but not before an ominous shadow appears. You have to buy the next issue to see who the ominous shadow is. How’s that for underwhelmed?

Writer Marc Guggenheim’s Spidey one-liners aren’t good, but aren’t bad either. The same goes for Salvador Larroca’s art, which has attractive moments, but uninspired layouts. What else did you expect from a totally whelming experience?

Worth the money? Only if you want to experience “whelmed.” It feels squishy.