Comics / Comic Reviews / DC Comics

Review: Cyborg #4

By Philip Schweier
November 2, 2016 - 07:12

Sometimes a comic book comes along that is so horribly bad, it’s almost painful to read. This is one of them. It’s so awful, I don’t mind sharing spoilers, which is something I (almost) never do.

First, let’s start with the cover. This single page is the only positive among 21 pages. It’s inventive, being part Escher drawing and steampunk, and legitimately reflects the content within: a trip through Cyborg’s electronic programming.

And then there’s page 1, as Cyborg squares off against other members of the JLA on a Martian terrain. There’s Green Lantern, Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Aquaman and the Flash. We know this because THEY’RE LABELED. Really? Thank you, DC Comics, for labeling these characters who have been around decades longer than Cyborg.

But are these the real JLA? No, they are not. They are the product of a digital hallucination inside Cyborg's mind. While his physical body lies on a table in STAR Labs, he is having a nightmare inside his head, battling his Justice League teammates.

Cyborg has a theory the entire experience is an illusion, because those JLAers that would need some sort of environment suit don’t have one. As if their collective attack on him wasn’t proof enough. So he transports them all to Apokolips, where Darkseid’s interference provides a momentary distraction.
 
Meanwhile, back at STAR Labs, Vic’s friend Sarah has INSTANTLY whipped up an debugging code which will shut down his body. The only problem is it has to be uploaded manually; too many firewalls prevent a wireless connection. And wouldn’t you know – despite all the techno-geniuses at STAR Labs, she’s the ONLY person who knows where to insert the jump drive. She selflessly hurries to the lab, while a co-worker pleads, “Sarah, come back,” with all the concern of a narcoleptic sloth on Benadryl.

Meanwhile, in Victor’s head, he’s battling the JLA, now revealed to be worms – toxic software uploaded, but who could have –? Of course! Malware in Cyborg Rebirth. Well, DUH!

Figures in this issue of Cyborg have two poses: rigor and mortis

Cyborg is summoned by a mysterious voice to the inner reaches of his mind, where his darkest and most painful memories lie dormant. There, his “mummy” bakes him cookies (what, he’s British now?), and he plays catch with his father. After a lab accident leads to his “mummy’s” death, father and son grow distant, and their relationship is strained to the breaking point.

Perhaps those daddy issues are what makes Victor such a D-bag. In a pre-Cyborg memory, he tells his girlfriend of six months, “Look, Britton, we’re done. You’re just gonna have to get used to it. I’m madly in love with somebody else. I’m certain she’s my true soul mate.

As for you, I’m not feeling it anymore. Now grab your stuff and beat it.”

“Oh, Victor,” she cries. “You’re horrible! Horrible!

OH MY GOD! What 14-year-old Twilight fan wrote this garbage?

With most of the worms defeated, a mysterious robed figure appears before him, claiming to be the love of his life. But he asks why he can’t see her face. “I don’t know,” she says. “You might be blocking my identity from your own mind for some important reason.” YA THINK?!

But then the final worm shows up: “At lassst, I have you at your weakest, on your knees, in supplication. Thissssss is your end, Victor. I will make it as painless as possible.” Were this an audio book, I’m sure the voice would be a raspy, Hanna-Barbera-style villainous hiss.

“This woman standing next to me has shown me the love that enabled me to tap into my full self—my true strength.” No, Victor, she's shown you NOTHING! She’s an invisible figure shrouded in a red robe. She says she’s his lost love, but so what? With all the hallucinations since page 1, why would Cyborg be so accepting of what a faceless figure in a hoodie would say?

Wait, wasn't that motherbox a jump drive back on page 10?

Nevertheless, Cyborg is able to defeat the final worm, just as Sarah approaches to upload her curative software. But he knocks the jump drive (which for some reason is now a motherbox) out of her hand, grabs her by the throat, and on the verge of killing suddenly wakes up. “Sarah, I’m so sorry. I-I wasn’t myself.”

“I know. Please leave me alone.” I translate that as, “I know it’s not your fault, but I want nothing to do with you. Go away.” But they reconcile later, as she tells him, “I thought I’d—we’d—lost you forever.”

But he explains how awful it was, until the very end. “I discovered something I had forgotten. That I was once very much in love with someone. I met her again in the deepest, darkest recesses of my restored memories.” Sarah asks who that person was, but he replies, “I-I don’t know. I couldn’t see her face.”

So, Vic still doesn’t recall who she was, he didn’t meet her again, yet he still claims to have an emotional attachment to a clouded memory that is hidden from him. I know, it confuses me too.

But it all makes total sense to Sarah, who says she’s very happy that knowing he once loved so intensely was a source of strength. “I’m sure that if she loved you that deeply, she’d put up with all of this to be by your side.” Such insight. Clearly, she has a rare understanding of Victor.

But Victor Stone is STILL every bit the ass-hat he once was, as he tells her what a wonderful friend she is. “You need to find a great guy to love you as much as you deserve.” So it ends on page 20.

And on page 21? Do I really need to tell you? Sarah picks up a photo album of her life with Victor in his pre-Cyborg days: the prom, visits to the beach. GASP! You mean SHE is the faceless person in the red robe? Like we didn’t see that coming back around page 6.

So you can see why I felt this story was so bad: ridiculous plot points, horrible dialogue, extraordinary leaps in logic, and predictable resolutions. Could it get any worse?
 
Yes. Yes, it could. Because I haven’t even spoken about the art.

Remember back on page 1, when Cyborg faced off against the JLA? Did I mention how most of them were in these stiff, action figure poses, which Cyborg also assumes in a later panel? Except for Green Lantern and Superman, who seems to be in this odd contortion usually seen in Broadway shows and chiropractic offices.

With each succeeding page, I noticed all the figures are either in a distant background or in a middle ground. There are no close-ups until the bottom of page 5, as Vic stares at the reader with determination. The next close-up comes on page 10, as Sarah does the same.

Honestly, I thought they taught this stuff in art school; the importance of varying and contrasting figure sizes and perspectives. Timothy Green II and Joseph Silver should be embarrassed. They should also seek out a copy of How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, by Stan Lee and John Buscema. The book distills visual storytelling down in a manner even a middle school student could understand. I know, because I did when the book was published several decades back.

The artistic style is uneven at best. Some panels are rendered lightly, and with style, while others are a circuitous series of  thin contour lines with ABSOLUTELY NO variation whatsoever; nothing to convey weight or shade. All that is left to the colorist.

Pencils by Timothy Green II. Inks by Joseph Silver. Background by Google.

I usually don’t have an issue with Guy Major, but here, it’s as if he cheats his ass off. Perhaps it’s because he been handed the sad task of making up for the artwork’s shortcomings. Some of the backgrounds seem little more than images taken from the Internet and Photoshopped in behind figures to add a degree of texture.
 
As a whole this issue was a huge disappointment. I’d hoped Rebirth might reinvigorate DC’s stable of titles, but with its current production schedule, DC is entitled to the occasional hiccup. But if we see many more issues this bad, they better go back to a monthly schedule – sooner rather than later.

Last Updated: January 17, 2025 - 08:20