Cowboys and Aliens is a new comic book-based movie built around the premise of cowboys in the old West fighting an invading force of aliens capturing humans to experiment on them and out to steal gold. I’d like to mention that for the life of me, I have never heard of Platinum Studios, the comic book publisher that originally released the mini-series.
Although Platinum Studios seem to be virtual unknown to me, they have managed to pique the interest of many serious people in Hollywood. Cowboys and Aliens has a star line-up including current James Bond actor, tough ugly guy Daniel Craig and Star Wars and Indiana Jones alumni, Harrison Ford. Oh, and that cool chick from Tron: Legacy, Olivia Wilde also plays a major role.
Having not done any research on this movie before a colleague of mine at The Comic Book Bin posted an article about the movie, I was under the impression that this movie was going to be within the Aliens’ legacy of films but set in an earlier times. From the many trailers I had seen at theatres, I didn’t get a good look at the aliens. But it turns out that no, this movie is a completely original concept from a comic book, although the name itself suggests that some trademarks could from 20th Century Fox may have been broken, Considering how a viewer like me really thought this film was part of the Alien’s line of films, I’d say Fox has enough material on their hands if the title “Aliens” and movies are trademarked.
Stoic Old West heroes
Hey, I’m not here to incite war between major Hollywood studios or give anyone at Fox any bad ideas. If they haven’t caught on already. My job is to say things as I see them. The aliens are ugly and can be perceived as scary. They do this thing where there’s weaker limbs inside of their chest cavities that are creepy in a child molestation way. Yeah, there’s a scene where one of the aliens fondles a kid with the creepy limbs and that’s sick. I do have one question though. Why do aliens always have to be naked? In Battleground Los Angeles, they seemed naked even though they had cybernetic implants. In Aliens, they are naked of course. E.T was naked! Why do movie studios always show aliens as naked creatures which often wield great technology, but apparently have no qualms about strutting around without any clothing or armour? Why?
Of course, as the genre dictates, the hero of the bunch, cowboy Jake Lonergan who is a wanted man after stealing lots of gold, manages to easily shoot most of his alien opponents although he has very little experience with the wrist gun he stole from the ugly alien that was about to do an anal probe on him (ok, the part about the anal probe did not happen and was not suggested, but isn’t that what aliens are supposed to do to humans they attach on tables to examine?). He’s also a tough guy that can easily marshal the other felons into following him on a last ditch effort to fight aliens with little guns. He also inspired a couple of Indians to follow him along. There’s a scene in the film where he’s given a magical native potion to remember the past he has forgotten – because you know, them natives always have some magical potion for white men to indulge in an regain their lost memories or gain new super powers that they can use and go beat up other white men or in this case aliens. Anyway, the whole scene where the natives who all seem to suffer from a speech impediment as they all talk verrrryyyyy slooowwwwwllllyyyyy, start beating their drums as they administer the drug to Lonergan. I thought I was watching a Lakota commercial and started bursting in laughter in the theatre. If you’re not Canadian and don’t know what Lakota commercials are, here it is. Lakota commercials featured an old native chief peddling an arthritis pain killer in full chief gear and talking very slowly in some indigenous language. And throughout the commercial a stupid loon keeps making sounds, while you could hear some drums in the background. It’s pretty hilarious and ridiculous stuff, and it’s after watching something similarly silly in Cowboys and Aliens that I lost my suspension of belief. Everything that came after was pure enchantment and stupidity.
So Daniel Craig does a good job of channelling the old bastard lone cowboy type. He can do no wrong and looks so beat up, if he were a dog, he would have been put down. But that’s why Craig was hired for anyway. He was supposed to be the alpha male of the film. The major butt kicker who saves the day. Harrison Ford, as the old rich cattle owner, Harrison Ford is not as useless as he’s shown in the trailers. He actually gets to lead many men to battle the aliens and by the way, also lead them to their death. In the film, he’s one of those old hardened jerk that is full of non nonsense and can also kick ass, although he’s slightly over the edge and out of shape. Well, no matter how many aliens farmer Woodrow Dolarhyde (dolarhyde – he makes good money from selling cattle) manages to kill, he’s too much of an idiot to rip off the wrist shooter from one of them and start killing the other ones with it. Nope. Instead, he has an abundant supplies of bullets and can even do a last minute save into a cavern that took the better of 30 minutes for the hero to travel through before. The scene seemed so staged, that i had no comments for it.
This movie is screaming for a sequel and I bet it gets it too. I didn’t really hate the film. The effects were decent and the western cinematography was great. There are a few good longshots of Craig on his horse showing up in multiple angles all in one take. And the scenery, although most of it must have been matte painted was nice to look at. Don’t expect anything magnificent or life-changing here. Just grab a popcorn and watch the silly stuff happen o screen. That’s what this movie was design to do and in that measure, it didn’t let me down.
ComicBookBin
