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By Mitch Emerson
July 19, 2007 - 07:55
 |
Disclaimer: I have not seen Casablanca
so the mention of Barb Wire as a Casablanca rip off is something I
have found mentioned on almost every single site/review I read while
doing research for this review.
Barb Wire is a mercenary for hire in
the last free city on earth, Steel Harbor. She doesn't usually take
sides, but does this time. She has to get some contact lenses to a
doctor that carries the cure for a disease in her blood. She must
reach other doctors in Canada and those lenses will allow her to pass
the security scanners.
If memory serves me,
Barb Wire
(the comic book) came out in the early to mid nineties when most of
the comic world was taken by the “Bad Girl” craze, where every
company had two or three titles of scantily clad spies, warrior
women, Goddesses, witches, etc.
Barb Wire was one of Dark
Horses properties that followed that theme. I never read the book,
but yes, I was caught up in that craze,
Witchblade,
Tomb
Raider and
Lady Death just to name a few. Anyway, these
types of books did not translate into movies very well until
Lara
Croft: Tomb Raider was released in 2001.
Barb Wire is a
perfect example of how a comic adaptation should
not
be done. First take a classic storyline, ala
Casablanca,
switch the roles around and cast Pamela Anderson, who just may be one
of the worst actresses on the face of the earth, have bad production
values and then treat it as if it was a serious drama/action flick.
The first five minutes of the film let you know exactly what you are
in for: Pam Anderson in leather, corsets, leather corsets, and
nothing. With a pole dance right out of your local adult bar that
lasts for exactly 4 minutes (I timed it), you just know that you need
some kind of mind altering substance in order to deal with this film.
I felt like I was watching something from the Playboy channel or
Skinemax for a few minutes.
As
a man who is not a Pam Anderson fan I could not find one redeeming
quality about this film. Most of the acting is OK, but I cannot even
count that as a plus as Pam Anderson's non acting overshadows
everybody in this. It was interesting to see Temuera Morrison in a
pre
Star Wars
role (he played Jango Fett in the prequel trilogy). Clint Howard does
his standard b-movie cameo/role. The best “performances”, and I
use the term loosely, are from Udo Kier and Xander Berkeley. Kier
plays Curly, Barb's right hand man and is the only one who seems to
understand how cheesy this film is and plays his part appropriately.
Berkeley is Alexander Willis, the slightly corrupt police chief who
switches sides and helps Barb.
Well, this is much more time than I really wanted to spend talking
about a horrible comic adaptation than I meant to. I swear I need to
get paid to watch things like this.
Until Barb Wire 2: The Honeymoon Home Video,
keep reading
Mitch E.
mitch@comicbookbin.com
